Psalm 139 - You are Fearfully and Wonderfully Made: A Meditation

Psalm 139:1-6

O Lord, you have searched me and known me.

You know when I sit down and when I rise up;

  you discern my thoughts from far away.

You search out my path and my lying down,

  and are acquainted with all my ways.

Even before a word is on my tongue,

  O Lord, you know it completely.

You hem me in, behind and before,

  and lay your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

  it is so high that I cannot attain it.

What does it mean to say,

“God knows me?”

Does that thought fill you with comfort

Or dread?

Does it encourage you

Or does it make you want to hide?

If I say that God knows me,

Then God knows everything about me -

The good and the bad-

The things that make me proud,

And the things that make me ashamed.

My hopes and my fears.

My successes and my failures.

My stories -

And my secrets.

GOD knows me -

God KNOWS me -

God knows ME -

Yes indeed, God does -

And in that there is nothing to fear

Because God knows me

And God loves me.

In the love of God

There is nothing to lose,

And everything to gain

God has searched me and known me -

I believe this to be true

I believe this is good news

And so,

As I face the coming days

I will trust

The God who knows me

To see me through,

To be with me,

To give me the strength and the courage

That I need.

Thank you,

God.

Psalm 139:7-12

Where can I go from your spirit?

  Or where can I flee from your presence?

If I ascend to heaven, you are there;

  if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there.

If I take the wings of the morning

  and settle at the farthest limits of the sea,

even there your hand shall lead me,

  and your right hand shall hold me fast.

If I say, ‘Surely the darkness shall cover me,

  and the light around me become night’,

even the darkness is not dark to you;

  the night is as bright as the day,

  for darkness is as light to you.

How often do I

Not even think about

The presence of God?

So often,

God is simply not on my mind-

It’s not that I am malicious

Or mean-spirited,

Or antagonistic toward God -

It’s just that

Life is so full

There is so little time.

I study and

I work

And I try to find time for myself -

I try to get everything done

That needs to be done,

And I forget about

Even thinking about

God.

But God is everywhere -

In all things

All people

All places

And even when I forget God -

God does not forget me.

And so I am humbled,

And grateful,

And astonished at God’s

Commitment to me,

Thank you,

God.

Psalm 139:13-18

For it was you who formed my inward parts;

  you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

  Wonderful are your works;

that I know very well.

  My frame was not hidden from you,

when I was being made in secret,

  intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes beheld my unformed substance.

In your book were written

  all the days that were formed for me,

  when none of them as yet existed.

How weighty to me are your thoughts, O God!

  How vast is the sum of them!

I try to count them—they are more than the sand;

  I come to the end—I am still with you.

Am I

Who I am supposed to be?

I often wonder that -

Am I “okay?”

Is it “okay”

To be me?

Am I doing the right things?

Am I making the right decisions?

I’m sometimes

Not like my friends

Or my family members.

I sometimes disagree

With what others

Say

Or think

Or believe -

I’m sometimes unsure

Of my own convictions -

Or if I will ever

Be certain

About anything

But God says

I am fearfully

And

Wonderfully

Made.

Fearful.

Wonderful.

I will trust

That it is so.

I pray that God will help me

To embrace

The “me” that God has made,

The “me”

That I am working to become.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Thank you,

God.

Psalm 139:19-24

O that you would kill the wicked, O God,

  and that the bloodthirsty would depart from me—

those who speak of you maliciously,

  and lift themselves up against you for evil!

Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord?

  And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?

I hate them with perfect hatred;

  I count them my enemies.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;

  test me and know my thoughts.

See if there is any wicked way in me,

  and lead me in the way everlasting.

What do I do with

The hurts I have experienced -

The pain that others have caused me?

How do I live anew

When others have wronged me,

Sinned against me?

How do I move on -

Not be held hostage

By hurt or sorrow,

Remorse or sadness?

I want to be free

Of anger

And regret

And feelings

Of disappointment

And guilt

And shame

I trust that God will lead me -

Lead me to places

Of healing and wholeness -

That God will fill me up

When I am empty,

That God will restore me

When I am broken,

That God will lift me up

When I am weighed down.

I am not left

To do it all alone,

To make my way

Each day -

Or through my whole life -

By myself.

God will lead me

In the way everlasting.

Yes -

Yes, it will be so,

Yes,

It

IS

So!

Yes -

I am known -

I am not abandoned -

I am fearfully and wonderfully made -

I am led -

Thank you,

God

AMEN.

(Brief silence)

The light shines in the darkness,

And the darkness has not overcome it.